My fiance wants a tropical honeymoon but I don’t?
My fiance LOVES the ocean and fishing and has his mind and heart set to go some where tropical so that he can fish and scuba dive, etc. The problem is that though the beach is fun and I enjoy it every once and a while, we ONLY go to San Diego for vacations which consist of fishing & the beach. I can get drastically sea sick when I’m on a boat and only enjoy fishing for a limited 2hrs then I’m completely over it. Then on top of that I have full blown panic attacks when I Snorkel or get around sea weed so I don’t know if I am going to be able to handle scuba diving. I really wanted to go on a cruise to like Alaska or travel around the country seeing national landmarks but he says "that’s something you do when you have kids and go on a family vacation". I really don’t know what to do. Does anybody have any suggestions of places we can go to make each of us happy? I can deal with going somewhere tropical as long as I’m not stuck on a stupid boat for 8hrs! Please, anything will help!
You two need to sit down and work out a compromise. That’s part of being mature adults.
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
You two need to sit down and work out a compromise. That’s part of being mature adults.
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October 2nd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Congratulations, this is the first of what will be many compromises of your marriage. How you navigate this decision will foreshadow your marriage, for marriage is all about compromising.
Instead of focusing on what you hate or don’t want or can’t do, focus on what you want and can do. Same for him.
As a couple, sit down at your kitchen table one evening. Each of you take out a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. (You’ll do an exercise separately, quietly while you sit together.) Each of you, on the left side of the paper, write down what you want to do and can physically/mentally do on your honeymoon. On the right side of the paper, write down what you do NOT want to do or CANNOT physically or emotionally do on your honeymoon, for whatever reason.
Then, compare your lists and find the commonalities.
From what I see, snorkeling is out because of your panic attacks.
However, fishing is not eliminated completely - you could fish for up to two hours with your husband, yes?
You mentioned Alaska, and he wasn’t interested, but what if you were willing to go fishing with him in Alaska for 2 hours every day?
Make your lists, compare them, and good luck!
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October 3rd, 2009 at 12:08 am
Well the first thing you need to worry about is do you have the money even for a honeymoon? You need to worry about that first then if you have money look at how much you have and go on
http://www.expedia.com/
When I worked at a hotel there were people getting rooms cheaper then what the hotel would offer as a sorry for bad service if the people though it was bad service.
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October 3rd, 2009 at 12:24 am
If you’re not married to the idea of being chained at the hip 24/7, why not take a cruise? There are fishing excursions on Caribbean cruises. You can send him off for the day to go fishing off the back of some boat, and you can spend the day relaxing at the ship spa with a massage, laying out on deck by the pool, or shopping in port. You both come back in the afternoon after doing something you each enjoy, ready to enjoy your evening together.
In many ports you can do waterfall hiking, beach walks, zip lines, tours of rum distilleries, and other things - but let him get his one day of fishing in, and everyone’s happy.
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October 3rd, 2009 at 12:57 am
If he insists of the whole honeymoon being what he wants to do, then he’s not really being fair. If you can’t come up with a good compromise, then try this. You get 1/2 the trip to plan and he plans the other 1/2.
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October 3rd, 2009 at 1:03 am
Compromise, go to the Coronado Hotel and let him do whatever part of the time and do on shore things the rest of the time, that way both of you will be happy, plus the Hotel is fabulous.
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October 3rd, 2009 at 1:42 am
I’m not sure I understand. Your fiance’s idea of a good time on his honeymoon is to engage in activities which YOU do not enjoy, is that correct? Why should you even bother in going along, then?
I usually believe in compromise, but how would he feel if your idea of great honeymoon was for the two of you do go SHOPPING? I think you need to insist that you honeymoon should be special and not just a "summer re-run" of the same old same old you do every vacation.
When the vacation destination battle is "I have my heart set on ____ and nothing else will do" vs "No more ____, anything but" then I have to side with the person who is willing to be a little flexible. That would be you.
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October 3rd, 2009 at 1:50 am
I have a vision of a tropical vacation that doesn’t include ANY fishing and in fact, my vacation to Hawaii didn’t include any. My suggestion is to pick a location that has a lot OTHER THAN FISHING that you would enjoy. Let your hubby go fishing one day and then both of you do stuff together on other days (and no snorkeling).
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I love to fish, but I can’t stand ocean fishing.
October 3rd, 2009 at 2:40 am
Why don’t you go on a Caribbean cruise somewhere? He can go on excursions while you go shopping or get spa treatments. It doesn’t sound to me like you would enjoy doing things like fishing or snorkeling, so it shouldn’t be the focus of the whole vacation. Simply traveling to a location like Costa Rica would work too. There are beaches with plenty of things to do, but there are also many other options, such as zip lines, rainforest tours, etc.
Your honeymoon should be something you both enjoy, so you’ll need to compromise. You could also go somewhere completely different than both of you wanted, like Greece. I think you will find that it doesn’t really matter where you go, it just matters that you are together.
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October 3rd, 2009 at 3:12 am
Like others have said….compromise!
I, too, LOVE cruises. That may be the best compromise. When you dock at one of the destinations, then he can go off scuba diving or fishing if he wants and you can choose to stay on the ship and go to the spa!! OR…you can choose to go with him…possibly go snorkeling instead of scuba diving.
Compromise, compromise, compromise.
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